the emotion under anger
I was angry today and realized the feeling under the anger was to cry. I did not cry because I had to go to work. I went to my friend’s birthday party last night and felt an understanding between people which I usually don’t feel with strangers my age and I was intent on being myself. There is an hour and a half now left of work. I am smoking my cigarette now and thinking if the feeling under my anger the whole time was just sadness. If I peel my ego back maybe that’s what it is.
Something I like to do to induce crying is to watch videos of troops or prisoners reuniting with their families. It’s like watching porn because it produces a body response which feels compulsive and necessary. I have to remember this lesson about anger for next time.