June 24
Dear Diary,
I am sitting here at an empty bar typing this with new fake press on nails. they have nondescript polar blue color shifty pattern on the beds and an ice cube vibe on the tips. Mostly I like the sound they make doing things like typing or texting. I matched my eyeshadow to my nails today, its silver and I put highlighter on my dark circles which is my new genius invention. what am i wearing? smirkksssss omggggggg stop.
ok ill tell you:
DVF pink silk tunic
those tiny black bandaid skirts girls used to wear in high school
pink and grey compression socks
fry boots
my classic black backpack that doesnt zip all the way
and I just ate a glizzy. Today I felt severe pain that was partially remedied by working out and walking a lot but its still there fasho. I'm trying to be a positivity demon tho so heres what happened today thats good in my life. I posted an instagram story that broke a record for me of story likers. This is what it said:
I want more money
I wanna lose 20 pounds and gain 10 back in muscle
Have insurance
I want a man who is a carpenter like Jesus Christ
I'm tired of neurotic computer people
Art sale soon
The pic was a pic of me in a sports bra holding up the peace sign post workout. Its true and what I feel and I try to be honest as much as I can especially on the internet . And Doing stuff like this makes me feel like ok life is not so hard. But omg when will the TRENCHES end jfc. It feels like a huge scroll list that unfurls and rolls down down outside the palace doors thru the village and through the rolling green pastures before stopping at my feet. I don't want to get into why but basically feeling a ***scarcity in every area and like. Time to focus on my career. If I had more money I would hire a personal assistant to help me out with the logistical areas like scheduling and texting. If anyone wants to come help me organize my life lmk.
The reason I say time to focus on career is bc love life is fucked. talking to randos in sandston type. What i thought would be my beautiful summer fling is busy with NA meetings and being "romatically solo". and respect to that I suppose. back 2 volcel for me.
But I think theres hope!!!!!! There is hope. Never kill yourselves. u too can bounce back from being irl shadowbanned and fired andddd omggg basically just being a victim in new and exciting ways :P Its a pensive girl summer. An evaluatory summer . Cut off the dead root . Everyday I am a newborn baby and so are you. Keep going. And trust thee cycle. Recently I've been laughing easier. And my hair is getting long asf.